Friday, August 31, 2007


I got a weird email yesterday. I've had the flu this week and haven't been to work. The booker wrote me an email detailing how many people are concerned about me and how my lifestyle to quote Met***ica could become my deathstyle. I'm a big fucker for sure. 150 kilos. I'm asthmatic and I smoke. I get fuck all excercise. But I don't feel like I'm going to die anytime soon. I know that's probably naive and stupid but I kind of have to believe that or I'll go mad. If I was to look in the mirror every day and say Paddy my friend, you're a morbidly obese smoking asthmatic who'll be lucky if he sees fifty I'd probably neck myself on the spot. I know I have to change. But I can't lose faith completely or I'll throw in the towel. I know this doesn't make sense and I have to change. But don't crush me completely kid. I'm more fragile than I look.

Sunday, August 26, 2007


Sometimes you feel your life turning into a loop. Get up, work, TV, bed, punctuated by the odd shag, argument or night on the turps. In the spirit of breaking the loop, Lize and I decided to go to the zoo.

We haven't been for years, since maybe the early nineties. So taking a punt on what looked like potentially bad weather we drove to Melbourne early last Tuesday. And had a bloody awesome day.

Melbourne zoo is on the whole a pretty modern zoo, with environments rather than enclosures and none of the sad looking critters that I associate with zoos from my childhood. We saw some very perky Meercats, some noisy aggressive otters and a cougar who is the dead spit of Steve French off Trailer Park Boys. Checking out the gorillas I had the strange experience of being double taked by an adolescent male. I think it might be time for a shave and a haircut when the primates start looking at me like a long lost brother. The same gorilla was a pretty wound up dude, smacking the glass when a little girl walked up and then jumpimg back with a WTF gesture. Cool as.

The elephants were awesome. We arrived just as they were being excercised. Four elephants were walking from one paddock to another with their keepers trunk to tail (which looked way cute) and climbing up and over hillocks and logs and such to keep in shape. The keepers seemed to give Thai commands to elephants which was interesting.

The butterfly house was excellent if steamy, the frogs reeked to high heaven and had a great moment with Lize alone in the platypus exhibit (no not that sort of moment) where we watched two platypuses play like crazy things in perfect silence in almost total darkness. These little guys are so shy it was great to see them goofing around without kids banging on the glass freaking them out.

Speaking of kids we were lucky there wasn't too many school groups to give us the shits. One thing I did point out to Lize was the amount of yummy mummys around. A single dude with a tolerance for kiddies could do well with some chivalrous pram assistance I reckon. Any way after seeing the male lion totally lose it at one of the younger ones we headed home. My feet and legs were sore as hell but it was great for me to do that much excerise and Lize seemed to come home pretty happy too.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Bringing Gothy Back

Went and saw the Cure sunday night. 3 hours of 4 middle aged blokes playing like absolute champions. Fat Bob was in fine fettle, Porl & Simon were more rock than they had a right to be and the new drummer was pretty good. Stacks of old stuff and non single material, i reckon the played at least 6 songs off kiss me and prolly 5 off head on the door. Walked out feeling chipper which is odd given their reputation for gloom. The combination of pop and misery makes you feel tops though.

Wednesday, August 1, 2007


I have shit teeth. Really shit. Like Shane McGowan's or Keith Richard's. Lots of cortisone, booze, smokes and a pathological fear of dentists doesn't help. So now I've got buggerall left. It's embarrassing, painful and I kind of hate myself but at the moment there's not much I can do. It will cost a few grand to get myself sorted out and that's not an option at the moment. So here I am a toothless tiger. Without the tiger.

Unfortunately with dental neglect comes a world of pain. The last two weeks have seen me eating codeine like a bastard and drinking to blackout a couple of times. Tonight I'm gonna stay of the pain killers and try and get a bit of sense back into myself.