the horse

i applied for a job today. After swearing to myself I wouldn't do it again it's a bar job. I am an idiot but since my freaky eye test the panic has set in. I can handle being a bum, but being a blind bum is terrifying prospect. If I get it will at least make this blog more interesting.

blindsided

i don't tend to have positive interactions with the medical community. Most are incredulous about my weight, lifestyle, smoking and drinking habits, refusal to drop dead on the spot etc. My GP has got to know me over the last few years and seems to have placed my file in the humour him/too hard basket. He doesn't badger me too much, offering more gentle encouragement and the odd hot tip for basic survival. So when I visited an optometrist today I really shouldn't have been too surprised by what happened.

The optometrist was a comely sort of lass, from Hertfordshire in the old dart and gave me the usual eye tests and was well into her spiel on glasses and how awesome they are when she got to my left eye. One of the reasons (apart from finding it tough to read in dim light) that i went to get my eyes checked is if I'm tired or its dark, the left eye gets a little blurry, with lights sparklig or even tripling if I stare too hard. Apparently this is not a good thing. Cue 3/4 hour worth of tests and the comely lass getting a more worried frown. The upshot is I have something I have never fucking heard of wrong with me . Its called Keretoconus. It means your corneas are out of shape, getting pointy instead of nice and round. This gives you blurry, trippy vision and eventually can render you legally blind. (which I gather means you can still see big stuff like cars and whatnot, but you mightn't be certain it's definitely a car it might be a horse. But it doesn't go all dark which is nice). There are options apparently, hard contact lenses to start with and then you can graduate to corneal grafts. Anyway she gave an appointment in two weeks to make sure it all wasn't just a bad dream and she'll make some reasonably nice glasses for the other eye which is merely lame rather than fully buggered. I'm a touch freaked out but hey I guess it ain't fatal and given the current advances in medical technology I could be rocking an awesome pigs eye or some such in 10 years time.

All in the Family

Check this story out folks http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=443329. I know this isn't a real newsy sort of blog but this can't be avoided. Dad and daughter happily shagging away and having kiddies while they're at it. Not content with wallowing in their own insanity they feel its necessary to go to the media with their heartwarming tale of forbidden love and poor unfortunate inbred children. As a society I reckon the signs are bad - this is not the sort of thing a healthy community tolerates.

wedding

a couple of lovely kids got married in Ballarat last night. Jarrod and Renae are one of those couples that you have a gut feeling will make the long haul. They seem to love and respect each other and treat each other with affection and good humour. Funny people too. Jarrod is one of the more talented sound engineers I've worked with, a capable and calm dude who has bailed me out on countless occasions with his clever ways with a misbehaving PA. Renae used to work with Lize at Maccas back in the day and she's since been heavily involved in the retail side of the rock game and is one of Lize's oldest B-town mates.

The wedding was great craic. Nice jazz, cold beer, little snacks and a great mix of folks. Cocktail receptions are awesome, no being stuck on a table full of mental aunties or Johnno the boring guy from the bank who's someone's second cousin. Caught up with some people I haven't seen in ages, and ended up back at my old bar carrying on with them till all hours. It was a bit odd seeing the bar from the other side when it was pumping, got a few rueful stories how things have changed since I've left but it all seemed cool to me.

a trip and a storm.

tuesday morning Lize and I threw some clothes in a bag and buggered off to see our mates Ruddo & Jen in Anglesea. Jen's folks have a little cabin down there in a caravan park and being the darlings they are invited us down for a night. They are some of our oldest friends and hanging out with them is fun and easy. While in some ways we're quite different as couples (they are the most energetic people on earth, its all half marathons and scaling the Andes with them) we get on really well. So we sort of had a compromise day where they dragged me on a walk that seemed to go on forever, that I actually ended up enjoying and then we went to the pub at four in the arvo which is more my pace. Then Jen cooked up some awesome steaks, stout and beer were consumed and a vigorous night of cards, scrabble and a few more ales ensued.

Not having overdone it the previous night, Lize and I bounced out of bed nice and early and packed the car as some gentle rain fell. We said our goodbyes and embarked on the lazy hour and a half drive back to Ballarat. Or at least that was the plan.

The next couple of hours were some of the toughest driving I've ever done. Insanely strong gusts of wind buffeted the car between Geelong and Ballarat, sometimes physically pushing the car half off the road. Branches were being ripped off trees, a dust storm was visibly building and there were sporadic downpours of rain. White knuckle stuff. We made it back home in one piece, but saw a fair bit of carnage from the storm, including a house that had a massive tree fall on it and smash through the roof. By the time Lize went to work at 3pm the sky was thick with dust and the sky was a queasy shade of yellow. The worst seems to have abated now but apparently big chunks of the state are without power and there's plenty of damage to property.

Sloth - a neglected deadly sin

i'm slowing down to a crawl. The financial and legal paperwork mountain that resulted from the sale of the bar is fast reaching molehill proportions. My mobile phone that used to ring on average every 10 minutes now can go 24 hours without breaking silence. The emails have slowed to a trickle. Life is grand.

All this spare time is allowing me to investigate long neglected pursuits. Like getting up, doing the dishes, working out and then retiring for a pre luncheon nap. As an insomniac the novelty of this peaceful sleep is irresistable. The house is empty, the darling girl is at work and I've got nothing on my mind. Maybe the novelty will wear off, maybe it won't. I'll enjoy it while I can, because the process of updating my qualifications starts in a couple of weeks and this comfortable domestic hobo existance may be snatched away from me all too soon.

Easter

i've always been a bit down on Easter. As a kid Christmas was pure joy - presents, mystery, brilliant food, decorations, santa, carols while Easter seemed to be 18 hours of church over 3 days with a miserable payoff in chocolate at the end.

This Easter was a vast improvement. Firstly Lize and I had the four days together. Not since 1991 has this occurred. (Either of us always had some shitty job that got in the way). So Good Friday we had some mates around, barbequed some salmon, prawns and calamari and drank lots of yummy wine. I know this isn't quite in keeping with the spirit of the day, but there wasn't any steak or Jack Daniels so I'm marking it down as a day of fasting if not prayer.

Saturday we lunch with Lize's folks and her brother and sister, partners, kids etc. Goose and turkey, more yummy wine, chocolate.... Easter was starting to feel like the last days of the Roman Empire. Anyway after the family do, we had respective hen's and buck's nights to attend. The buck's night was great. We started off at my old bar, where they had the guitar hero game projected onto the wall. The combination of beer, classic rock and air guitar is possibly not that attractive to some people but we had a ball. After a couple of hours of this we dragged the buck, now dressed as a wizard (last year he foolishly took part in a promotional campaign at his workplace, a tourist theme park, appearing as a wizard) to the plastic paddy pub. There after fortifying ourselves with steaks and parmas we began the serious task of plying the lad with disgusting shots - chartreuse and tabasco anyone? and offering the lady patrons a chance to sit on the wizard's knee, a proposition that proved more popular than you might think. Being a bit older and wiser I headed off before the nightclub stage but by all accounts things went swimmingly, with no strippers or fights and the buck ending up dancing onstage with the hen in a romantic stylee.

After this arduous evening it was back out to my parents for Easter lunch - chicken, lamb, more chocolate and simnal cake but by this stage I was on the lemonade so no wine for me. The rest of the day was spent in romance and repose, watching the first season of Entourage and a bit of footy. We capped off the weekend by watching an amazing thunderstorm with a couple of cuba libres on Monday night and saw Ballarat get it's first good rain in a month.

Easter is rising in my estimation.